A World beyond the horizon Of Emotions !

There are numerous occasions when we find .. that things are not the way we wanted to be ! and hence starts a phase of life where we almost shatter whatever hopes life had to offer .. we curse almost whatever comes on the way ..and remain aloof from almost every thing .. but then there are two ways ..out from the world of sucked emotions and sadness one is ..being engulfed into the monotonous land of tears and curse for life .. there exists an other way out and that is looking beyond the horizon ..

Well looking at things .. around us.. horizon is a place where sky and earth meets ! .. think again do they ! yet we see the same ... and the same happens often with the human brain .. we end up with perceptions which really never existed .. !

The best thing about not understanding things and making errors is ..finding voids which would rather be filled up with ones own experience rather than .. suggestions ! and yes there is a lot to be filled up .. literally the work never stops ! Each cell in u dies and comes back to life every second ! physically a new person every second ! Hence nature gives you change which is the essence of life .

Yet it remains a question of WHEN ..we look beyond those horizons of life and change the perceptions of life rather being stuck in old ..which troubled us .. There is certainly a world Beyond the emotions ..and life is there in motion not static for you to run and reach but ..moving with,,you..for.. how you love to live ..

For every thing that happens there may or may not be a reason ..but for life there are horizons looking beyond them is a passion .. which takes you to places where things wont be the same ..but one can always make sure ..the best awaits if u dare to be finding a way not like the rest !

I am not weak ....

NO .. not a weak soul ...
because I Dare to be alone ...

I guess i have known it well and so it must be ...
Few roads must never cross ... and thats all i got to learn ..

Not a deal ..not a deal ... life speaks just the same .. i took a bit of more to get a hint ...
It nothing more than an equation ..and i have learned all its worst solutions ..

Whatever may come by .. i wont look timid and weak ... without you its fine ..
Never want to recall what was always on my mind ...

If life would ever boomerang . .. i will stand as still as i can ..
and not a drop of tear ..shall ever roll down .. because still i am not weak ...

Yes . i am running ..and i know i can run till the end away and away from you ..
I wont let my legs ..to stop ..nor will i let my eyes to ever dream of you ..

No ... i wont let you decide .. how my life shall be ..i am not weak ..and yes i dare to walk alone .

I dont know if i had lost the way to weave the words ... yet i write them jumbled with whatever i know ... i have lost all the ways ..yet i will roll down ... till the end ...

The last laugh of college !

Today was our farewell night ! dont exactly know ... feeling weird .. may be the fear that i am going away from friends who were so gud to me ! When sad ..alone and hurt they heard me .. Made my stupid jokes ! a hit!! laughed a lot on them ! i know these days will never come back

Why does every good thing goes away ! i am not so strong to happily let everything go away ! yeh may be i fear loneliness .. but who the fuck i am ! just a bloody mortal who has no control on life ! or may be some one who promises every other day ! to be strong and walk again with all pride ! yes may be i am one of those who has a last laugh on life every day ! i am not drunk i never feel like having a peg of it ! coz i believed if my angel was near me i could have talked with her everything that makes me happy and sad .. a hug would be enough to let all pain life offers get washed off !
And today i felt that even my friends who were there near me will soon be going away ! i was afraid i dont know what i had been doing since few hours may be i had been near her house shouting out loud i love you ! may be i am bit afraid of loneliness .. now i cant laugh at all problems of mine ! There is no fuking joke left to not let my tears stop rolling down ! May be i am a big looser in life ..i dont even know if i can stand back on my promises made to life .. may be i wake up tomorrow and feel everything is ok and move on ! but for this moment i am finding it all alone and the glow of smiles fading away .. i love all my friends and my angel ! every one has gone away !! i know life is not the way we want them to be ! May be i will make new friends ! but everything around is mean ! even life it takes all they wish to ! who hears what u wish for and dream about ..
Yes there were few friends who cared about them heard me talk what i felt had a patience to know all i speak about and most of the words were bull shit ! still they smiled and said me " hey u are right ! " i love you for these ... angel i love you too .. But i had left dreaming about it ..it was just today i was afraid so i recalled a few dreams of mine ..which began with you ...
LIFE IS MOVING ! I WILL TOO GO ON ... JUST A WEAK HUMAN ..i get weak sometimes .. but trust and faith of few people had hold me on .. i will walk again with all that strength again ! for this was my last laugh ..with my friends .. i promise whenever we meet ... i will be the same guy to pull ur legs ..and do hear me then ! may be i wont be such a great one to hear but i trust you all ...

The Last Letter .....

To God ....

I tried not to explain nor talk .. as you said silence is sometimes better than words so i did .. but that silence is making me feel as if death has been presented to my life ! Tired and exhausted
i have been by now ..sorry i could just not be strong as i said .forgive me for those lies ..
I guessed she was someone like you .. she was an angel .may be somewhere i have lost myself in loving her ..i have been missing myself much these days ! but i have no regrets ..its too alone here not a speech alters this pain of missing her ..may be her words were what i wished for !

Just growing weaker these days ..dont even know where the bunch of smiles have lost which you gifted me ! was i wrong some where? do say me will sort it out .. I have done everything i could to forget her ..you said sacrifice ! if you love someone .. fine ! not a sign of grief for that.. not even a drop of tear ..my blood does not permit that ..may be you gave her reasons why she cant love me ! but i have no reasons even why i love her and may be a million reasons why i must love her ! dont worry i will not trouble you god saying those reasons but will ask you to reason out " why did u ever fill in hope and dreams to my thoughts ! "

Its too tough,, everyday i end up with a promise not to know who she was .. forget her but the other day with the sunrise ! I fall in love with her again .. even its long i heard the sweetest voice on earth yet i live with those few words which stays alive in me .. and very happy about it ...

May be she will never ever come into my life ! nor do i beg for this.. but i beg you to hold me strong as u always did .. I promise you not to lament over what i lost in my life .. I promise not to be weak ..I promise to pay back what i have been for ..I promise to prove my words with actions ..and I HOPE that you be there with me ..because being a human its too tough to stand strong with this loneliness yet you always blessed me with all luck ..i have just forgot them!! please do remind me of those in my dreams for now dreams of her haunts me ...

I know you will always guide me ..I trust you .. thanks for everything . did i sound like a looser !! its just i loved her but you have given me a life and yes i will not let it loose anything any more .. I will move with more of actions and less of words ..and i PROMISE ...


Yours faithfully
your love :)

Hope time gets it all solved ........

I have done it all ......
Learned to be busy with no work ... keep counting starts and counting back again ...
Still struck with darkness .. still wondering for nothing ..
Hope time gets it solved ....

Pleading for the days to pass away.... i cant count it all !
wanting nothing to bother me any more ... not even a moment which i loved to treasure ..
but i just find them ..filling the emptiness of my heart ... just tired of telling its just dead ..
Hope time gets it solved ......

Running no where .. halting every where i am trying to collect the facts !
Facts that makes sense to my mind ..may be its the only way i can defeat the hopes of my heart...
Hope time gets it solved ....

Bounding my thoughts and wishes .. they always will find a way to you ...
Really it feels choked to death .. still i find a sense of pride in them ...
May not be the beats which go on for you but still i guess to win over a life .. which tried to be with you ...

confused ... confused ... and so may be my words .. that i spell ... and all i can just say is

" Hope time gets it all solved " .......

..The journey with the broken boat ! ..........................................................

It was raining as if the sky had been silent since long ... The sailor had been on his first voyage with all his hope on the boat ... even was never worried of the ocean ..
But just then after the sun was about to set ... the waves had began to show its wrath ..even the sharks seemed timid little creatures ..under the thunder belt ... he looked back the sun had now finally engulfed by the ocean ! again he looked around the lights of thunder and with that the sky roared ...but the noise was lost within the ocean ..even time seemed weak ..because of the changing waves which made the little boat tremble but the sailor was holding his nerves ...within this chaos the could remember the strengths of his faith !
He knew whatever happens that little boat would hold him until the battle of the ocean and sky is on ... he closed his eyes and offered his humble prayers ...
Then he looked down .... he could feel the water touching his knees ...he could never cry that would add up a drop more to the ocean making it larger ... then he could just touch the base of the boat and just found a crack on his boat and here goes " the journey with the broken boat " ...
He thanked god ...because he had few more moments to live ... looked around and laughed at the sky so strong was it even the thunders were now silent ... even the roaring ocean waves stopped to stare at him .. for a while his faith made everything silent ...but he knew this was not for long ... he still laughed and smiled never cried because that will just add a drop more to the ocean making his life cease to death faster ... stood there with pride and sailed ahead slowly the water was rising ...touched his lips .. he tasted the salty water but ofcourse could never taste the salty tears ... took a deep long breath ..before had to be filled with the silence of death ... and then said "The journey with the broken boat ends " ............

For PRIDE .. taking back each word and dream .....

When there is a war ... may be winning or defeat will come along as a consequence which can barely be predicted ! but there is one element which always holds true ...it goes this way " a warrior who dies with pride ..wins everything "
Now its often said love along with war ..its true as these are what the extremes of human emotions are .. and defeat is never ever cherished in any case of the the two ! but whatever it may be pride will always be the best thing one will have .. and yes its true may be others and even everyone else may never ever know what was the worth of pride for u ..but one must always know that leave alone the world the only person who u will have to face will be "you yourself " and it feels hell if u cant keep up the pride with your life ... atleast for the sake of dreams one cant give up this element of honor and be on knees to beg for that share of happiness which you wanted to share with a person !
One can always hope .. keep up the faith .. but until when ! even the silence of the mountains break up with rage ! there is no fact of selfishness or madness but when someone is the very essence of your life and you find suddenly that your dreams ..are going away far from your life .. just because the world of yours is just a waiting rose for some one else ..you find a hundred reasons to make yourself understand the fact that she is in love with someone better ..and waiting for her with all her hopes ... may be then one will always hear a word running down from heaven which will be spelled as "sacrifice " !
Forget about the spelled word ..recall the word in you termed as self respect ! even after your each words failed to make itself understood ..even after the words of you being rejected never got into the brain ! yes now comes the most funniest element of human body ..which got the job of voluntarily doing its work even when the human body is non functional the "heart " the root ailment of all problems that will inspire with great stories .. beat out of its rhythm when you see her ..and will fill your dreams with hopes ! and again one is up with a smile ... but that being shameless not hopeless must end one fine day ... one cant end up answering himself ! " yes i loved her ...even tried to make her know this although that stuff was nothing more than a worthless piece of news for her ..but still i joined back all my hope and what ?? ... for whom will u make ur dreams up into life ! what will be all life about .. one might just end up being that piece of paper which had a lovely poem of life written and was handed over to a blind who even was deaf ! " nothing in this world can then make it worth full until that piece of stuff goes to a place of utility blown with the wind called time ..
May be ... ending up selfish ... not being polite to life .. but i have taken them all back from life .. looking at the eyes of the most loved person and finding the eyes filled with love for someone else is the best defeat u can have .. not even a drop of blood yet painful than death .. and loosing all pride !
I have no one to answer .. but me ..let it not go begging on knees for happiness ..ofcourse with the sword of self respect i kill all those words and dreams of mine ... this stuff is painful but with pride ..i can just utter " For PRIDE ... taking back each word and dream... "